I’m happy tonight to introduce another member of the BJ Blogging family, Diane Heeney, who runs Strength for Today. Here are the vitals:

1. Title: Strength For Today
   • URL: http://strengthfortoday.wordpress.com
   • Author: Diane Heeney

Diane and 200 or so more bloggers connected to Bob Jones University can be found at The List.

Like Punxsutawney Phil, I have emerged from my underground tunnels once more to poke my head into the sunlight, squint, and scurry back into the darkness after seeing the shadows of a thousand cameramen eagerly staring at me. Poor thing - what in the world goes through his head? And why doesn’t he just leave the area?

I’d update on my life but nothing’s really all that interesting by way of updates. The New Roomie (the previous Roomie up and got married, which would have strained the current living situation a little) upgraded himself to a 32″ Samsung and a PS3, which means CoD4, Blu-Ray, and digital TV. Neither he nor I are particularly interested in DirecTV or anything we have to pay for, really, so we’re sticking with broadcast for now…when we actually watch it.

So, blogs. Got another four to add to The List: the husband-wife tag-team of Matt and Lee Jury, Mark “The Immovable Object” Smith, and Brian “The Irresistible Force” Buda.

1. Title: EvidentLee
   • URL: http://evidentlee.wordpress.com/
   • Author: Lee Jury
2. Title: Life is Worship
   • URL: http://lifeisworship.wordpress.com/
   • Author: Matt Jury
3. Title: budaful music
   • URL: http://budafulmusic.edublogs.org/
   • Author: Brian Buda
4. Title: Just Cognitizing
   • URL: http://www.justcognitizing.blogspot.com
   • Author: Mark Smith

Clutch is key. You never know when you may be called upon to pull out the winning play - when everything rides on one crucial decision, that’s clutch.

I was with some friends at Red Robin this afternoon, celebrating the life and times of one Peter Crane, who will be heading back to greener mountains in Vermont this weekend.* The food was great…the service, not so much. We had to flag a second waiter to bring extra fries, and our original waiter never noticed that my “bottomless” drink had found bottom and was sitting, bottomed out, for quite some time. Not that he could have seen it, because after bringing our food he dropped off the face of the planet. Not only that, but once he returned I had to ask twice for a refill. So I was calculating the minimum tip I could give without being rude (always the firm believer in leaving a tip, however small, no matter what), when he came by again, this time with the clutch question:

“Would you like one to go?”

Now, I know they always offer to-go drink topoffs at RR. But usually it’s only soda; and in fact I asked for a Coke, thinking there’s no way he would bring a Blueberry Pomegranate Limeade to go. But sure enough, he brought out one overflowing with red, white, and blue goodness. I looked at Brad and he shrugged and said, simply, “Clutch.” And it was. His tip went from bare minimum back to standard 20% rounded up to the nearest convenient dollar increment. Why? Because that’s clutch. Because that’s bottom-of-the-ninth, 11th-hour, buzzer-beating clutch, that’s why.

* Did you see what I did there?

No, I was not hit by a car (though I did almost hit a deer). And no, I haven’t dropped off the face of the planet, though that trip is at the tail end of the planning stages, and I expect to go through with it in the next few months. I hear it’s quite a blast, though getting back on the face of the planet is kinda troublesome. Let’s just say that, with a new job position, new hours for that position, and new forms of recreation at a friend’s house, I haven’t really been home all that much to do a lot of blogging. And let’s face it - the age of the personal blog (excluding those blogs that are specifically focused on a certain topic or area of expertise) has just about seen it’s demise, courtesy of “new” (not really new, but perhaps mostly mature) outlets like Twitter and Facebook, to name a few. For self-published news digests, how-tos, and other related miscellany, blogs remain the sine quo non of their fields. But for personal communication, social networking sites have taken over as the new standard in forcing your up-to-the-second status on people. Hey, at least with blogs people could choose whether or not to view what you were having for dinner.

All that to say, things have been quiet around here, with the exception of that HCSB thread that keeps getting traffic on a consistent basis. To all who have commented - you should be receiving yours shortly. My source apologizes for the delay.

And what back-from-the-grave update would be complete without a notification that more bloggers have been added to the list? Check this out:

1. Title: GraceFlow
   • URL: http://www.graceflow.org
   • Author: J. D. Coleman
2. Title: The Mercied
   • URL: http://themercied.blogspot.com/
   • Author: Rebecca Phillips
3. Title: The Confessing Historian
   • URL: http://timtaylor.edublogs.org/
   • Author: Tim Taylor
4. Title: One Little Hour
   • URL: http://paulmatzko.edublogs.org
   • Author: Paul Matzko
5. Title: Cafe Biblia
   • URL: http://www.CafeBiblia.com
   • Author: Craig Johnson

Some of you may have thought that The List was dead. Actually it’s still very much alive and quietly ticking away back there. And just to prove it, I’ve added another blogger - Noel DeLisle. Noel and I had a few classes together, sang in a few official and unofficial groups together, and basically did most of the stuff that music students in the same classes do together. After a long blogging hiatus he’s back on the grid with a shiny new Mac.com blog, so drop in and say hey.

Folks, I know what you’re thinking. How could I have found the worst driver in the 300,000-strong Greenville metro area? Simple. I nearly hit him/her this morning. Sir/Ma’am, if you somehow find this, do the following:

1. Have someone drive you to your nearest SC DOT office (for you, it’s Woodruff Rd.).
2. Turn in your driver’s license.
3. Ask them to note your file that you may not obtain another driver’s license without a notarized doctor’s evaluation stating your eyes work.

So here’s the story:
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The absolutely wonderful thing about being a Christian and a blogger (I shun the term “Christian blogger” for all its baggage), especially one who, in a former life, was known for being wildly controversial on a whim, is that I can occasionally trot out the “old me” and stir up the dry bones of controversies past. Because most people think this is what Fundamentalists do for recreation, it is not considered strange at all, and people even look forward to the day a “Christian blogger” does so just for the sheer pleasure of ripping open old wounds and giving it another go-round.
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Much has been in the news about this new “Storm” worm…a Perfect Storm-esque (hated that movie) trojan that’s slowly being filtered through the net by someone (Al-Qaeda? Russian mafia? the MPAA?) and will eventually do something to hurt someone or something. Anyway, I care less about that than the computer that sat here in my office for three days running every virus/spyware scanner on the face of this benighted little planet and probably still didn’t leave completely clean. In fact, I think it was so gunked up that I actually caught whatever it had, because unless the allergy count is through the roof (which, given the rain, is unlikely) I came down with something hard on Sunday. Try singing when you head feels like it’s floating a few inches off your neck.
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Like a lot of kids my age, I would occasionally turn on Transformers for the cartoon du jour. I mean, c’mon - what can top the combination of cool cars, trucks, and planes AND evil robots bent on world domination fighting noble robots dedicated to saving humankind from their clutches? It’s a perfect combo! I even had a few of the toys, and yes, I will admit to making that cool swooshing noise as I unfolded a Lamborghini Diablo into a good guy robot. So imagine my surprise when one of my favorite composers, Steve Jablonsky, teamed up with producer Michael Bay to score a live-action remake of the timeless animated classic. The result: Transformers, which landed the spot of the action movie of the summer. Not bad for a kid’s cartoon show.
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I hate the Cowboys. I hate everything about them. I despise their arrogance, cockiness, and (most of all) their presumption. “We’re ‘America’s Team!’” Who appointed you to that? If the Dallas Cowboys are “America’s Team,” then I’m moving to Canada. My consolation of late has been that they have been spending money on mouths and not talent. Terrell Owens is the key example here - past his prime, over-rated, all he has is his attitude and selfish arrogance. He was covered by a third-string cornerback on Monday night against the Bills and got 1 catch for 14 yards. If that’s not overpriced jaw I don’t know what is. Their bandwagon following (which I’m convinced makes up 90% of their fan base) has been shrieking that Tony Romo is the next Brett Favre…I personally think he’s the next Jeff Garcia - he’ll make a great backup when he’s in his 30s. How can you be the next Brett Favre when you throw five interceptions on MNF and cough up another fumble?
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Okay, who remembers’ back when I started this site and people were thinking, “Who’d want to scorn mounty? mounty scorner? What’s that about?” Well, eventually word got around, one way, or the other, that no one was scorning anything and the site, in fact, represented mounty’s little corner of the internets. The folks at 1&1 didn’t get that message:

1. At what point does a coach cross the line between fiercely defending his own players, his quarterback in particular, and move into childish screaming? That seems to be the question surrounding Oklahoma State’s head coach Mike Gundy this week. Gundy, in a press conference after OSU’s win over Texas, absolutely went berserk on the Daily Oklahoman sports writer who, in his mind, shredded quarterback Bobby Reid for a whole host of reason, most of which seemed to be backed by surmising and rumor. Now, you can read the article here then watch Gundy’s response here (or here if YouTube is not kosher for whatever reason). The debate is centered around professionality…and while, no, throwing a fit on national television is not the most professional way to go about things, I can almost guarantee that, considering the lack of action elsewhere in the state of OK, those reporters have never been shouted down from a local sports icon before, and I further doubt it’s an experience they’ll soon forget. Props to Gundy, though, for sticking up for his player. Anyone who’s spent time away from home at college knows that you tend to gain a handful of surrogate parents in the faculty and staff with whom you interact on a regular basis, and in this case Gundy acted no less than any other concerned protective father would if his son were trashed in local/national media. Good for him!
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In the words of some immortal bard whose name escapes me at the moment: “my official position is that I have no official position.” I did, however, stumble upon an excellent party game that has the potential to inspire your guests to new heights of vocabular genius…or drive them terminally insane, one or the other. The game is simple: given an acronym, find every and all possible meanings for said acronym. For instance, in internet slang, “FTW” is often seen and (usually) means “For The Win,” when used in such fashion as: “Lunch will be at Doc Chey’s - FTW!!!1!” That is not all “FTW” could theoretically stand for, though. It could, for instance, stand for “Fred Tickles Wallaby” or “Famous Toe Wreath.” The only rules are: 1.) no obscene/vulgar words may be used, and 2.) no word may be repeated, either verbatim or with slight modification (ie., since “tickles” was used already, no further conjugation of “tickle” may be used; however, “ticklish” may be used because it is no longer a verb). This went on for some time at lunch today while we contemplated the acronym “UVA.” “Unwanted Verbal Assault” and “Unrepentant Vicious Administrator” seemed to be the best at the table, though there were several others over half an hour of unrelenting vocal asininity.

For kicks, and to see how many shadow readers are out there, I wonder what you can come up with for the following tech-related acronyms:

1. DOA (dead on arrival - used to describe parts that do not work immediately upon receipt)
2. NIB (new in box/bag - used in auctions to indicate an unopened package)
3. IMO (in my opinion - precedes most un- or ill-informed opinions on internet discussion boards)

Suggestions may be from any topic, and it’s best that the entries not be from their parent category (though if you come up with a zinger in the computer realm don’t stop yourself). Show your handle of the English language right here!

The Quartet was on the road again this weekend (is on the road, rather - I’m typing this from a motel in Taylorville, IL) and we got to do something that I don’t think I’ll ever do again: sing the National Anthem at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Okay, so it was just us, the rest of the tour group, and a few guys who had paid big bucks for Allison Transmissions to take them for a spin around the 2.5 mile track in a pickup, but it was still pretty cool. When the tour guide found out our identity, he had us step up in the winners’ podium (where the National Anthem is typically sung at the Indy 500) and sing for the crowd. Expect a video on YouTube sometime after we get back.

After that coolness (not to mention all the other stuff there - the IMS is really a nifty place to tour) we went to sing at a church in Dennison, IL. After the service, we stepped outside and waited for the last folks from church to leave. That left us, Bussy, and a whole slew of stars above. It was so clear and so dark that we could barely pick out constellations for all the stars that were up there. I recognized the Big Dipper and Scorpio (I think), but the really neat thing was that from horizon to horizon there was a cloudy band of stars - that, folks, is the edge of our particular arm of the galaxy. Yes - the Milky Way Galaxy was spread out above us tonight. I’d heard about that but have never seen anything quite like it before, and let me say it was absolutely stunning. To see that many stars sprinkled above the earth like that…truly God is an amazing God!

So that’s all from IL. Go Eagles, go Penn State, and go Pig Sty Esquires, my fantasy team on ESPN, who are 1-0 after solidly trouncing Davey last week. Woo hoo!

…both the BBC the Wall Street Journal have problems creating a headline that makes sense (read the highlighted headlines):

(courtesy of Google News)

Whoever Fukuda is, he doesn’t exist yet…but he’s next in line. This is waaaay to existential for a Friday morning.

As some of you know, my friend Jordan Poss recently returned from a few weeks in Germany attending a summer session of German language and culture courses at the University of Heidelberg. Props for finding something extremely cool to do over the summer, Jordan! Anywho, I managed to catch him on Google Talk as he was waiting for a connecting flight from Philadelphia to Atlanta a few days ago:

Jordan: well hello
Jordan: i was actually thinking of you--i'm in philly
me: no kidding?
me: get a cheesesteak
Jordan: nope--layover until 440
me: ooh...in the airport?
Jordan: yeah
me: best soft pretzels on the planet are in baggage claim/ground transportation
me: but you're leaving in half an hour
Jordan: nice--i'm all the way in terminal f, though
Jordan: yeah
Jordan: first thing i'm doing after landing in atl is going to five guys

Can I have an “amen”? First thing the man does after returning the U.S. of A. is go to Five Guys. Brings a tear to my eye…

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Since the days of the Caesars man has communicated in code. Nero (?) was the first that we know of to employ a simple rotation algorithm to his secret messages…and now ROT-13 is one of the most basic encryption schemes in the face of the planet. Still, independent of cryptographical studies, certain strata of society communicate employing various obfuscational techniques to render their communiques illegible to the common observer. (Yes, it took a while to come up with that statement.) Such is the case with an email chain between me, my coworker, and our boss, who has been involved in technology for quite some time. It all started with a Linux twist on everyone’s favorite video game meme: All Your Base.

Fred:

chown -R us:us ~\base

Why Fred copied everyone on what was, up until that point, a serious discussion is beyond me. Though it was getting close to the end of the day, and I guess he needed to unwind. So I replied with another favorite:

mounty:

b{2}|^bb

What Regex Shakespeare has to do with anything, I don’t really know. My boss, though, was not to be outdone:

boss:

Program Career_Change;
Uses System, Crt, Unmitigated_Gall;

Var
    Apologies : Integer;
{*******************************************}
Procedure Update_Resume;
Begin
    Get_out_Paper;
    Get_out_Crayon;
    Make_up_Stuff;
End;
{*******************************************}
Procedure Say_Goodbyes;
Var
    Speak : Longint;
Begin
    For Speak := 1 to 40 do
        Begin
            Writeln(’Goodbye!!!!!’);
        End;
End;
{*******************************************}
Begin

    Meet_with_the_Boss;
    Apologies := 0;
    Repeat
        Inc(Apologies);
        Writeln(’Sooorrrrieee!);
    Until Apologies = 40;
    Update_Resume;
    Say_Goodbyes;
End.

FTW. Bonus points to whoever can identify the language - It looks pre-C…kinda reminds me of Pascal, but then I never took a course in it so I’m not sure.

Oh, and finally, my apology:

<?php
    $apology = “I will not make the boss mad.”;
    for ($i=1; $i<=100; $i++) {
        echo “$i: $apology\n”;
    }
?>

German’s a fun language. It’s got all sorts of harsh sounds that are (for the most part) actually very easy to spit out. That’s the key - you just gotta fire the words out like you’ve got a hairball or something. So I’m at work this afternoon, listening to J.S. Bach’s cantata BWV 80, Ein feste Burg ist unser Gott. The English words are, let’s face it, a little clunky. It is, after all, an English translation that is trying to catch both the meaning and the metrics of the original German. (Remind you of any other translation discussions?) The fifth movement, which is the second full chorus movement, has a particularly sturdy text:

Und wenn die Welt voll Teufel waer
Und wollten uns verschlingen,
So fuerchten wir uns nicht so sehr,
Es soll uns doch gelingen.
Der Fuerst dieser Welt,
Wie saur er sich stellt;
Tut er uns doch nicht,
Das macht, er ist gericht’t,
Ein Woertlein kann ihn faellen.

In English: the whole thing.

As a singer, I have to say that singing along at my desk was one of the little joys today. The second line is particularly fun to spit out. Remember that the “w” is pronounced as a “v” and that the “v” is pronounced as an “f.” Also remember that most two-vowel combinations just tend to glide off the tongue - “fuerchten” (third line) is pronounced “FEAR-hten” with the “fear” pronounced with a bit of a snarl and the “h” as in “human.”

Enjoy your pronunciation and remember to wipe off your monitor and keyboard when you’re through, especially if you’re not at your computer. Eww…

I was chatting with a co-worker today and made a bleak discovery. Those who know me know that I tend to err on the cynical side, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Cynicism is simply trusting human nature/entropy to do its thing without expecting things to turn out any better. It’s a recognition that things are never so bad that they can’t get worse. It’s the cloud inside the silver lining. It is, according to a Non Sequitur cartoon I wish I could find online, why cynics outlive optimists.

So my co-worker asked me if I wasn’t more cynical than pessimistic, and that’s when it hit me - for the cynic, pessimism is the realization that you’re always right. (This is, by the way, a new original quote that will randomly appear in the above banner.) I (and others) have often said that cynics, for as much fun as they aren’t to be around, usually aren’t surprised by anything because things usually happen about as badly as they expect. To put a positive spin on it, things can only go up from here! Cynicism is past-tense: I told you things would be a mess. Pessimism is the future tense of cynicism: I can already tell things are going to be a mess.

I hope I’ve livened up your day. Remember, it is as bad as you think, if not worse, and they really are out to get you.

Ever since the dawn of civilization, man has uniquely triumphed over nature, subjecting it to the tools of his own creation to make it do what he wishes. One modern miracle stands as a testament to man’s unrelenting pursuit of mastery over nature: Spam (be sure to turn your speakers on before clicking).
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